for serious? no, for JOKE

Oh my GOD it really IS a small world!

I am sitting at home.  I am seriously thinking about packing for Paris.  But I’m still just thinking about it, I haven’t actually managed to unzip my suitcase yet… you know me, I’m kind of a procrastinator.

I am watching a documentary on the National Geographic channel called “Megacities”, and it’s all about the New York subway system.  After leaving NYC, I love to watch things that take place in the city.  I think it will always feel a little bit like home – my parents live there, Anuj and I bought our first apartment there, and I got engaged there.

I digress.

So I am watching the documentary thinking how true it is what they say about New York; it’s a big city but it really is just a lot of familiar neighborhoods strung together.  You’ll always run into someone you know, you’ll never forget where your favorite sushi restaurant is in at least six different neighborhoods, and you’ll invariably watch a Sex and the City episode and realize you were at that bar two weeks ago with your girlfriends.  So I’m watching people on the TV getting on and off the subway trains, and the hustle and bustle is looking so familiar, I can almost smell the combination smell of the Wall Street guy with overly expensive cologne and the mushy cookies that the single mom feeds to her toddler… and then… I totally saw someone I knew in the shot.  Someone from college.  The camera was on him for a full five seconds so I had a good look at him, it was definitely him.

I burst out laughing.  I mean, this is totally bizarre isn’t it?  New York is familiar even all the way over in Amsterdam.

P.S. For my college friends who are reading this blog, it was Novich that I saw!  Who incidentally, had a side job last year playing Bobby Flay’s body double on Iron Chef America, which I also think is hilarious, but that’s a story for Novich to tell.  He’s the type of guy to have a blog, no?

P.P.S.  Which all brings me back to packing for Paris.  What ever shall I wear?

Train to Paris

I am unreasonably excited to go to Paris tomorrow.  I get to take the train, and for some reason a Youth First Class ticket is cheaper than regular rate, so I am traveling first class baby.   If you've never taken one of the high speed trains in Europe please put it on your list of things to do (preferably before you turn 26 - then you can be first class like me!).   It's so much more fun than flying - it's more comfortable, more time efficient, and much more amusing.

What I am not excited about is the prospect of speaking about my work in FRENCH for the next couple of days.  I am actually very nervous about it.  Sort of puke-y nervous.   I used to be fluent in French, but I don't think I am anymore.  And I certainly don't have the vocabulary for my current work.  I need to dig up a dictionary somewhere for sure.

Also, what was not exciting, was actually BUYING the ticket to Paris.   In some ways Europe can be so efficient, and in other ways it is mindbogglingly different and well... behind the times.  You cannot buy a ticket for the train online.  I even asked the ticket clerk and he admitted that "the website only works a quarter of the time". The wait was almost an hour and a half until my number was called at the ticket desk!   The clerks were incredibly slo-o-ow.  And then to top it all off, you can't pay for your ticket with credit card (only a local bank card called chipknip that I don't have yet) so I had to carry almost 150 euro on cash with me.  What the hell.  So the fact that you have to physically go to a ticket office, wait in a looong line, and then pay for an actual paper ticket with well, paper cash... well, it just boggles my almost-2006 mind.  What happened to the technology age and printing my ticket at home, like I do with absolutely everything else?!

So, to console the fact that I had to give up an hour and a half of my life (an hour and a half I would have normally spent at the gym!) to the waiting room on Platform 2 in Amsterdam Central, I went home to watch TV (Tuesday is my TV night here - it's the only night there is some good stuff on) and eat Thanksgiving leftovers.  Of course the only thing I had leftover were mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce.  I put them together in a bowl and heated it up in the microwave.  It was so good!  Mashed potatoes and cranberry in a bowl, eaten with a spoon.  Kind of like an ice cream sundae.  And I am afraid about the nutritional equivalent of said ice cream sundae... 

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes... Christmas is all around me, and so the feeling grows

I am getting excited for Christmas shopping!  Am I a nerd for doing that?  I’ll be shopping mostly online this year.  I don’t have much time to go to the shops, and it’s cheaper to shop online and ship to the NYC apartment then it is to spend euros here in Amsterdam.  Unless of course I find something so fabulously unique here that I can only get it here in Holland…

Christmas lists are zooming around the inboxes of my family.  Anuj and I are teasing each other about what we’re getting each other, even though we’ve already decided that for Christmas this year we are buying each other wedding rings.  Of course, Anuj is incapable of staying within the rules, especially when it involves doing sweet things for me – so I know he is plotting other things as well.  Which of course means I also have a trick or two up my sleeve!   But, we’ve both vowed to stay reasonable.

I have been nosing around for a wedding ring that I like – I am torn between getting something with more sparkles in it, or just going sort of plain utilitarian.  The no-frills approach appeals to me – something about a plain silver band around your ring finger symbolizing your commitment.   On the other hand, there are so many beautiful rings out there!  It’s hard to not be swayed by something a little fancier, with a little more design.  Then again, I’ll be looking at this thing for the rest of my life – maybe I will get sick of any design I pick and plain really is the way to go.  See my dilemma?

I can’t wait to buy Anuj his ring.  It will be fun to go pick it out together.  And I think it will be an easier choice for him.  He’s not a diamond kinda guy.  Although, the diamonds-for-guys trend is seriously increasing.  We have looked at rings where I could have sworn we were in the women’s section, and the salesperson assured us these were bonafide man-rings. 

I have made a Christmas playlist on my iPod.  I am totally in the mood!  I put it on for the first time while cooking Thanksgiving dinner for Anuj and me this past weekend.  Anuj makes fun of me for this every single year.  He can’t get over the fact that his atheist girlfriend (now fiancé) feels no qualms about belting out “Joy to the World!  The Lord has Come!” while drinking wine and shaking her groove thing.   I see no contradiction in this, however.  It’s Christmas time!

Which, by the way, I am jealous of all the Americans probably sipping on their pumpkin spice lattes right now.  I don’t even like Starbucks that much but those red cups of hot caffeine sure bring home the holiday spirit for me! 

Six Months from today...

... we're getting married!

I don't know why a year is the standard time to be engaged - honestly, this is much too much time.  It's torture, waiting a full year.  I firmly believe a wedding can be organized in 4-6 months.  *sigh*   Not that we had time to get married within six months of getting engaged - moving to Amsterdam was pretty time consuming.  Spring 2006 really was the earliest we had time to get married.  So.  Here's hoping 6 months will fly by!

This was two days after we got engaged:

Guest Blogger! Anuj takes up the keyboard:

Yes, I have decided to cast off my blog virginity and am writing a post…there will be only one.   

I don’t know what it says about the Dutch when you think that of all the places they could have settled, they choose a portion of the world that was both below sea level and where the Sun seems to only shine through a giant steal wool scrubbing pad…you know the kind of pad I’m talking about; they are grey and you use them when you have somehow managed to burn instant mashed potatoes.

Speaking of mashed potatoes, yesterday was Thanksgiving and it is actually nice to know there is at least one American holiday that has not been commercialized around the world!  I don’t think I’ve seen a single turkey, pilgrim or cornucopia since landing…there is the sold chance that I didn’t seen any of the aforementioned because it is gray, cold and raining and so rather than walk outside, I’ve taken quite a fancy to eating cheese and watching people yell in Dutch on TV. 

All kidding aside, I have had a few opportunities to travel this city alone and have actually found it quite charming…I think A’dam could move from “charming” to straight up fantastisch if you could just replace the Sun with something that had a bit more wattage.  Beyond phenomenal architecture, there is something particularly delightful about moving through streets which are lined by canals…it does help that aside from canals, the streets are lined by quaint bars and tiny stores.

Riding a bicycle is still daunting for me; though seeing people of all gender, age and physical fitness riding through rain, wind and oncoming tram made me feel more bold, and in a moment completely void of logic I decided I was going to ride Joke’s bike…alone.  No, I did not get hit by a car again.  But, what I failed to realize when I made this brilliant decision was that the weather outside could only have been described as what one might find if they were traveling through a hurricane on the North Sea.  It was as if the Dutch gods thought it would be funny to test the silly Indian and threw forth gale winds, dagger rain drops and frozen sheets of rain (this should tell you about the temperature)…on top of all of this, I managed to only ride on streets were there seemed to be a minimum of 4 inches of flooding which meant that if the rain falling from above hadn’t soaked me, the splash back from below was sure to finish the job.

In terms of Dutch people, I find them somewhat peculiar…I’m sure it is mutual.  First off, there is no question that the Dutch are the most literal, straight-forward, no-bull-shit group in the world – this means there is no such thing as small talk and that instead of being diplomatic with information (good or bad) the Dutch say “yes” or “no”…period.  As an example, yesterday I was asked a store clerk to me give me his suggestion between two types of Stroopwafel, but he refused because he didn’t know my tastes.  I realize he is correct in saying that he cannot guess what I would like, but I was surprised that there was no room for describing what the different options taste like or asking what sort of waffles I like…I think the problem in America is that if you ask for someone’s opinion you are bound to get more than you needed.  Also, I find it odd that Dutch people say “mmh” and nod their heads as you talk…I know I present compelling arguments and it is nice to know they are in agreement, but to the inexperienced converser, this can be quite distracting...it feels like the other person wants to interject, but there is no such intention and if you follow your more American instincts you will find conversations to be very choppy as you say one thing, stop to see if the “mmh” from your Dutch partner was a signal of a comment they wanted to add and then when your Dutch partner says they didn’t want to say anything, you try and re-start your comment…anyway, I think I’m over that, now if only I could get my shoes to dry…

Dinner and Dancing to Follow

So Anuj is here, which is wonderful wonderful.  When he comes into the apartment its hard to figure out what to do first – it’s all a little overwhelming.  When you’re completely in love but you only see each other once a month the moment of seeing each other is a little too much… and even a little weird.

So he comes in and its like, do we kiss first? (yes!) then talk?  Hug?  Stare at each other, catch up… all those things… or maybe take off your coat first and haul the suitcases up the stairs?

Ah, the suitcases.  Three huge ones, containing about two sweaters Anuj plans to wear this week and then just STUFF.  We are starting to haul our STUFF from New York to Amsterdam, and every suitcase shuttled between the two cities will invariably contain… photo albums, extra gloves and hats, kitchen utensils, spices, toiletry items… if its in your apartment it just might be in our suitcases.  It’s fun unpacking them – all the treasures from home he has brought with him.  Anuj says it is his favorite way of giving me gifts – it’s the ultimate regift!  For example, out of his bags I extracted a half filled plastic tray of Yankee Candles that I bought for myself last year.  I was so excited!   Anuj said “this is too easy, I don’t even have to buy you things, I can just bring you your own old things, and you get all excited!”   He’s right, you know.

His bags also contained an envelope from our wedding planner.  Yes, we hired a wedding planner to help us plan our Baltimore wedding.  Might seem extravagant, but the best investment into our sanity ever, and a decision I haven’t regretted ever for one second.  I don’t talk about the wedding much on this blog… maybe because I actually don’t talk about the wedding that much in general (with the great exception being bridesmaids-dress-choosing with my mom and sisters over email – those emails are going to destroy all of our inboxes!!!).  I have managed to be a fairly level headed bride.  I had a few weeks of insanity in August when I was about to leave for Europe but before I left I wanted to set a date, buy a dress, hire a planner, book a venue, lock down a photographer, and take on a DJ, pretty much all in one weekend.  Thank goodness that is over now. 

Actually, I think I have been a little detached from the whole wedding planning process – I am just too far away, and Anuj is taking care of so much of it… some girls manage to make wedding planning an almost full time job.  I have managed to pare it down to a few days a month.   (I promise I’ll be getting back to that envelope from our planner in a second).   

I haven’t had too many OH MY GOD WE ARE GETTING MARRIED moments… not too many teary moments or overwhelming emotion.  The last two moments were probably the dads’ great speeches at our engagement party in May, and the first wedding dress I tried on in Macy’s in August, with my Mom and my sister Ruthie there.  I did love those times! 

And yesterday, Anuj and I had our first moment like that together in a long time… the key word here is together.  I wish we were together when we make decisions about the wedding, and its lovely in the few times that we are.  Anyway so we open the envelope and it has a sample of what our awesome wedding invite is going to look like, and then it has all these paper samples of different types we can use for the various parts of the invite.  Folder 1 has different papers for the outside envelope… ok la la la la these are nice.  And this paper is for the border, see how it sparkles Anuj?  La la la-la!  These are looking gorgeous, I love them … and now I will just open this last envelope here... and oh my god what just spilled onto my lap?   Three actual fully made samples of our invite with “The honor of your presence is requested at the wedding of... on…” on them!!!!  Our full names, the full invite!  My eyes just about bugged out of my head before everything got all blurry and I couldn’t see the invites anymore.  Anuj said he felt the same way when he saw them… it’s all of a sudden so real!  Here we are, sitting together on the couch, looking at these pieces of paper.  I mean, printed on real paper!    With our date, our venue, our name, and the most important words of all… WEDDING and MARRIAGE.

The Waiting Room

I am sitting on pins and needles here.  Anuj will be walking through my door anywhere between an hour ago and an hour from now… the waiting is torture!   I am working from home today because Anuj coming home in the middle of the afternoon, and it gets too complicated if I am not here waiting for him – you know the whole where do I put the key thing?  (I really miss my NYC doorman – life was so much simpler then).  So I am typing away emails at my cute little laptop in my spic and span apartment.  Because I cleaned people, boy did I clean.  I cleaned on Sunday, I cleaned on Monday, and I woke up super early this morning to clean some more.  I scrubbed the tub so much I can see my face reflected in it.  I vacuumed the couch and fluffed the pillows.  I folded up the rug, beat it on the balcony, and polished the floor.  I cleaned the fridge and stocked it with yummy things.  I watered the plants, arranged candles in the fireplace, and sorted through my papers.  When Anuj gets here I want him to be happy and comfortable!   But now the waiting is such torture that instead of finishing that email to my boss I keep popping out of my seat to align the books perfectly on the shelf.  To iron out that wrinkle on the bedspread, because lord forbid there is a wrinkle on the bedspread.  To straighten that picture and boil the water for fresh tea.  I can’t stand the waiting!  When will he get here?

He is staying until Sunday.  One of the best parts (there are so many best parts) about Anuj being here is the chance to intertwine our feet together on the couch and talk talk talk.  Until you have to base your relationship solely on telephone conversations you can’t fully appreciate how amazing it is to talk to someone in person.  It makes all the difference to actually include facial expressions and hand gestures… oh and silence.  Not that we have much silence in our relationship, we both can be pretty chatty… but on the phone you cant be silent together.  But in person you can. 

Ok I am not just saying this because the timing works well in this post but… my heart just jumped up into my throat.  The doorbell rang and Anuj is here!   Obviously, I gotta go!

Spotted Today In Amsterdam

In my very own office... wait for it... *shudders slightly*...

Tapered jeans.  Yes, tapered.  On a man. 

No one looks good in tapered jeans.   I didn't even know they still sold those!  To give him the benefit of the doubt, it might be entirely possible that this man is still wearing his jeans from 1984.  Unfortunately,  I have a sinking feeling that they probably were a recent purchase.

At least they weren't stone washed.

An Amsterdam Arrest

I almost got arrested two nights ago.  I mean, they wanted to, those cops, but I think they were too stupid to actually accomplish the task.   It was obvious that they were the dimmest bulbs in the shop – I think traffic cop is the lowest you can go on the scale of urban policing.

I always take a different way home.  No matter where I am in the city, I swing my bicycle down paths I haven’t taken before.  I get to know the streets, the layout of Amsterdam, and I see new stuff every time.  Monday night I was checking out a couple of gyms in the area.  (I’m ready to splurge and join some fancy schmancy place for the winter and ogle all the good looking people)   One gym was wayyy out there, and I was going to time how long it took me get to my apartment from there.   Still, I am tempted by a “new way home” and figure what the hell, those five minutes won’t make a difference in my timing experiment.  It’s about 8 pm and I want to make it home in time for a movie I wanted to see.

I bike up the street aaaand… I get pulled over.  By a pedestrian cop, of all things.  I stop, because what am I going to do?  Outrun this person?  Plus, I have nothing to hide.  I hop off my bike and begin what ends up being the most frustrating conversation I have had since moving to Amsterdam. 

Turns out my lights weren’t working.  Which surprised me because they sure as heck were working just 24 hours before!   So I am bummed but ok, I’ll accept the consequences.  But god, I wanted to strangle that woman by the end of this.  You know that patronizing way that policemen can speak?  As in, “Ma’am, I have some bad news for you now.  I’m just going to have to write you a ticket now, mmmkay?”  This policewoman was extremely guilty of that.  I hand her my ID (U.S.A. driver’s license) which she runs off with for ten minutes.  It’s freezing and it’s starting to rain.  She comes back to tell me this was not a valid form of ID – did I have my passport on me?  Did I live in the Netherlands?    Since I don’t regularly commute around the city with my passport and my apartment rent contract on me, I didn’t have anything else to give her.

Policewoman:     Ma’am, unfortunately I am going to have to take you down to the station.

Me:     What?! The station??  Is this really necessary?  How much is this fine?

Policewoman:     The fine is 25 euros, and since we have no proof that you reside in the Netherlands we are going to have to take you down to the station and book you.

I’m thinking: My god!  I’ll be there forever, Dutch bureaucracy is not known for its speed!   

Me:     Is this really necessary?  Can’t I just pay you here?   How will I get to the police station?

Policewoman:     We’ll have to call a cop car to come and get you.  (Leaves out: we’ll handcuff you and shackle you to the car in front of all these onlookers, you lawbreaking immigrant!)

Me:     Geez!  Umm, how long will this take?

Policewoman:     We should have a car out here in about five minutes.  I’ll just radio them in.

I sit there, face red with frustration and cold.  And dammit, it’s starting to rain.

Twenty minutes later I overhear policewoman ask her fellow policeman whether he had called the cop car yet.  Not yet, he replies, maybe in ten minutes.  They’re working on something else.   I think, what could be more important than booking me down at the station for a no-lights-on-my-bicycle crime?

Policeman:      Ma’am you’re just going to have to wait a little longer.

Me:  nearly exploding.   I’m cold!  How much longer will this take?  I’ve been here for forty minutes.

Policeman:   Ma’am, your pupils are a little dilated, are you sure you’re feeling all right?

Whhhaaaaaat??  I stare at him perplexed.

Policeman:      Have you been perhaps smoking anything?  Taking any kinds of pills?  Drinking or licking anything? 

At this point I just burst into a million pieces out of frustration, parts of me splattering all over the sidewalk.

Ok, of course that’s an exaggeration but are you kidding me?  Now I get accused of taking drugs too?  (I hadn’t!)   And a Dutch friend of mine made a good point the next day – what the heck did it matter if I did?  It’s almost all legal here. 

And the kicker of the story is… after accusing me of taking drugs and threatening to
take me down to the station they just… let me go.  After over an hour of freezing my fingers off and standing in the rain they concluded that cop car was never coming, that they had an extremely frustrated immigrant on their hands, and they just let me go.   On the condition that I walk my bike all the way home.

I’ve been avoiding cops like a juvenile delinquent since then, and I bought myself some shiny new bike lights today.   

Creative washing

Recent conversation between the friend mentioned in the last post and me:

Me:   I washed my hair this morning but it feels kind of weird. Not quite as silky as it usually does. (I am an incessant “hair twirler” and it’s because my hair is so soft)

A:    Mmm hmmm (feigning interest in my boring statement)

Me:   I seem to have run out of shampoo though, so I kind of had to be creative with getting it clean.

A:   ??

Me:   Oh, and by the way, my apartment IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME. Things keep falling apart! The construction next door is driving me CRAZY! And for the past two days water comes out of all the taps either steaming hot or not at all! I hate being burned like that so I shower with like… no water.

A:   (takes a step back) How the heck did you wash your hair then if you had no water and no shampoo?!?