for serious? no, for JOKE

Wet Butt

It snowed in Amsterdam!   And not just snowed, it actually stuck to the ground, for the first time.  I woke up to seeing white sparkling all over the back yard.  When I unlocked my bicycle I had to wipe a whole crust of icy snow off the seat.  Many smart commuters in Amsterdam keep a plastic grocery bag wrapped around the seat of their bicycles for just these sorts of occasions – it ensures that the leather saddle isn’t soaking wet when you sit on it.  Well, I am not that prepared or forward thinking, so I have no such Wetness Protection Program.  I plopped my butt down on the saddle and… squish.  Ick.   Result?  I waddled into my office this morning with a nice wet triangle positioned squarely on my butt.  Fantastic.  I mean, I try to come across as professional, but this accessory is just not going with my outfit. 

Here is a picture of me in my new office!   My sister took the picture over a week ago when she walked into the office.  She started laughing at the sight of me.  Which leads me to think again: maybe that whole looking professional thing is not working out so well for me!

Surviving the Weekend

Marina was here this weekend and it was fabulous.  We scoured the city for fun shops and gezellige cafés.  We also laughed ourselves silly - sometimes I wonder whether anyone overhearing us would also think we are funny, or whether they'd think we are just completely nuts.  Probably the latter. 

In the usual Marina and Joke fashion, this weekend we drank too much wine and too little water.  We got up much too early and went to bed entirely too late.  We had Belgian beers on Friday and made Russian Borscht on Sunday.  I'm exhausted!

This train is for COCKFOSTERS

Alternative Titles:

• HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!
• Hello DOOCE readers!!!

But for the entry to make sense we stick with:

• This train is for COCKFOSTERS

“Excuse me?!” I thought.   On Sunday I was on the underground making my way from Heathrow airport to center of London.  I haven’t been in London since I was 17, so I was fumbling with everything; my luggage, the British Pounds, and the public transportation system.  I kept bumping into people because I was walking in the wrong direction on the side of the hallway: the British don’t only drive left, they also walk left.  When I finally plopped into a seat on the underground, I looked up to see the neon light blinking at me “This train is for COCKFOSTERS”.  Great, now I was being insulted as well!

The of course I realized Cockfosters is just a final stop on one of the tube lines.  Crikey.

My (work related) trip to London was sandwiched between two fun personal happenings.  My sister and her girlfriend were here in Amsterdam this weekend.  Though they jokingly called me their “militant tour guide” (since I was always planning our next step and keeping us on schedule), we had a great time and managed to squeeze in a solid amount of walking, museum visits, and cozy meals into what was just shy of a 48 hour visit.  Such a treat to get to spend some time with my older sister.

Right now a great friend of mine from NYC is taking a nap in my bed – my Russian friend Marina.  I had promised to go pick her up at the airport – I was going to be waiting for her with tulips and balloons and everything.  As I do before all visits from friends and family, I stayed up fairly late last night cleaning my apartment so it would be extra cozy for visitors…

I woke up to the sound of my mobile phone going off… I shot awake and I knew what had happened before my eyes had even fully opened.  Marina, like an underage child whose ride has forgotten her, had a Schiphol Employee Lady give me a call and ask where the heck I was.   Man, I felt terrible.  We ended up meeting at the Central Train Station instead.  I tried to make up for my goof by fattening Marina up with a nice Dutch coffee-bread-and-cheese breakfast.  Now she’s snoozing peacefully.  But I’ll be feeling sheepish and guilty about this morning for awhile. 

Another reason to feel guilty:  (I should have written about this in the first place.)

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!!!

Now is the time you might start sliding into a quarter life crisis, but don't do it girl.  Here's some "way back" photos 'specially for you...

Here we are in June 1984

And in July 1985

In case there's any doubt, I am the dorky one.  Kir is the sweetie pie blondie.

Also P.S. - this is kind of fun.... DOOCE readers are flooding my site!!  Hello everyone.  Hope you stick around... go through the past ten days' posts to read a little about my encounter with Dooce.

This Morning, I Laughed All The Way To Work

I couldn’t help it!  It rained for the first time in a long time.  No, sorry, I should revise that (This is Amsterdam!  It rains every single day).   It rained for the first time in a long time during the time slot in which I commute to work.  It rained the way it can only rain in Northern Europe (or perhaps, Seattle); that slow but steady drizzle.  Not a downpour, and not a sprinkle, just unstoppable raindrops coming down relentlessly.  Deep puddles everywhere, and the ducks in the canals look like they are practically drowning.  All you see are big umbrellas and sloshing wet pants and rain boots peeking out from underneath.  Rather than being in a hurry, people just look resigned to their fate of getting soaked through to the skin.

And me?  Me, on my bicycle, with my huge neon orange poncho covering me, my bike, my laptop satchel and my lunch bag simultaneously, but not quite adequately.  My ankles were getting soaked, and I could feel some raindrops trickling down my neck.

But still, I laughed.  There was just something so otherworldly pleasant about the whole thing.  The city gets much quieter when it rains, partially because people try to stay inside and partially because soft steady rain can have a dampening effect much the way snow can.  I felt warm and content under my poncho/coat/undercoat/sweater combo, and most importantly, unhurried.  I am always in a rush, always hurrying to get to work (or away from it!), or late for meeting up with someone.  But when it rains you have to slow down.  Cycling quickly through a puddle will only result in a splash making yourself and any potential bystanders even wetter.  The rain will hit you in the face if you have too much speed. 

So you take it slow.  And you taste the rain.  And you laugh on your way to work.

_______________________________________________________

I hate to add a P.S. to this post, but I know I owe you all some backstory on meeting Dooce and Blurbomat.    It will come, but I felt like writing about rain today.

Ja, Ik Spreek Engels

(link explaining title)

Anuj leaves again tomorrow, so we’re just chilling out at home, enjoying each other’s company.  In truth, we’re both a little groggy from last night.   We went out for Thai food and then met up with friends at a bar.  And not just any friends!  Saron was there, and her husband Eric.  And – drumroll please- Heather/Dooce and Jon/Blurbomat!  I know I sound a bit like a gushing teenager, but seriously, I was honored and thrilled that we got to hang out.   

I had asked them to meet up for a drink, not really ever expecting them to get back to me.  I would have asked them out to dinner, but you know how it is when you meet someone new.  The whole thing might bomb and you’ll sit there wishing you’d just asked them for a drink and why did I insist on this hours-long dinner for pete’s sake?!  No such feelings last night– we ended up hanging out from 8 pm until 2 in the morning.   

I tried really hard to act normal.  It’s so strange to meet people that you feel you know so well!  Would they be different than expected?  Snooty or inapproachable?  So chill that it’d be hard to converse?  Would I be so overexcited about actually seeing them in person that I would make a complete fool of myself? 

Anuj and I got to the bar first, and about ten minutes Heather and Jon walked in – I recognized them instantly.  I also instantly started sweating… I practically fell over a bar stool and faceplanted on the floor of the bar on my way over to greet them.  Three kisses on alternating cheeks, Dutch style.  We settled in at the bar and had the typical:  Belgian beers, old jenever, bitterballen, and fries with mayonnaise.  We drowned ‘em in that shit!

As my sister would say, “Good times”.  The internet is a crazy world – how the hell else would a Belgian former New Yorker have ended up meeting a couple of witty and famous ex-Mormons from Utah?

I’ll leave you all with an excerpt from Pulp Fiction; life in Amsterdam versus life in New York.

Jules: Okay, so tell me again about the hash bars.
Vincent: Okay, so what'cha want to know?
Jules: Hash is legal there, right?
Vincent: It's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin' away. I mean, they want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
Jules: And those are hash bars?
Vincent: Yeah, it breaks down like this: okay, it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's illegal to carry it, but, but - but that doesn't matter 'cause -- get a load of this, allright -- if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
Jules: Oh, man, I'm goin', that's all there is to it -- I'm fuckin' goin'.
Vincent: I know baby. You'd dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
Jules: What?
Vincent: It's the little differences. I mean they got the same shit over there that they got here, but it's just - it's just there it's a little different.
Jules: Examples?
Vincent: Alright, well you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don't mean just like in no paper cup, I'm talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald's. And you know what they call a, uh, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
Vincent: Nah, man, they got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.
Jules: What do they call it?
Vincent: They call it a "Royale with Cheese."
Jules: "Royale with Cheese."
Vincent: Thats right.
Jules: What do they call a Big Mac?
Vincent: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "Le Big Mac."
Jules: "Le Big Mac." [laughs] What do they call a Whopper?
Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. But, you know what they put on french fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
Jules: What?
Vincent: Mayonnaise.
Jules: God damn!
Vincent: I seen 'em do it, man, they fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.
Jules: That's some fucked up shit.

Fansite

I'm like a teenager circa 1998.  No, the Backstreet Boys aren't in town, but DOOCE is!  And Blurbomat. They're visiting Amsterdam through Bloggers in Amsterdam.  Which, I'm guessing I wasn't invited because, hello!  I already live here.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I have a limited amount of readers a day.  NOTHING.

But I totally sent Heather and Jon an email, pointing out some cool spots to visit and asking whether they wanted to go have a beer.  No response yet... *grin*.

I DO kind of feel like they're stepping on my blogging territory - but here and here are their great Amsterdam posts for the day.  That photo Heather took from the canal looking up at the rowhouses?  Is totally on my bike ride path to work.

I've Been Meme'd

I got meme'd by Kim.  I had to look up on wikipedia what the heck a meme really is.  I've seen it used on blogs a lot, but I didn't know the actual history of the word.  To be honest, I am surprised that given the word's definition it was used in this context.  On the other hand, a "self propogating piece of informatioN" sounds like a pretty accurate description.  So, let the propogating begin!  Kim changed the questions a little to suit her, so I'll just answer the ones she posed:

Four (I listed only three) bizarre jobs I have held and the length of time I lasted and how I left:

1. Video Sales Clerk - I managed to do those for maybe 5 shifts total.  I thought it'd be fun - I would get to watch movies at work!  But I was young, just turned 15 I think, and I had no clue how to work that stupid cash register.  I got fired as I walked in the door for my fifth shift.  Humiliatingly, I had to use their phone to call my mom to come right back and pick me up again.  My ass was fired.
2. Knife Sales Representative - It just astounded me that people would let me (a stranger!) come into their private homes with my big bundle of shiny sharp knives to do my sales pitch.  I'd cut pennies and leather and do my smooth talk.  I hated this job and did it just long enough (a month or two) until I earned my own full set of sweet knives, and then I quit.  On the plus side, I think everyone should at some point in their lives work in hard core sales.  It's a big learning experience.
3. Coordinator of the Counting And Measuring of Telephone Poles - I am not joking.  This was seriously a job I did for a full summer for a Northern New Jersey telecommunications company.  Every morning I organized maps and dispatched construction crews to go measure telephone poles while I marked them and counted them on the map... my eyes still cross when I think of it.

Four (I listed only three) movies I can watch over and over:

1. Out Of Africa with Robert Redford and Meryl Streep.  Hands down my all time favorite movie ever.
2. Best In Show - this Christopher Guest movie has me in STITCHES every time, especially when I watch it with any of my sisters! One sister in particular... 
3. Bridges Of Madison County - Can you tell I love Meryl Streep? 

Four places I've liked :

1. Mali
2. New York City
3. Amsterdam!
4. Guatemala

Four TV shows I like:

1. Currently Anuj and I are watching LOST and loving it, though I hear Season 2 is disapointing.
2. I once watched every single episode of TWIN PEAKS with a bunch of friends - wow!  David Lynch is SO strange.
3. Sex And The City - predictable, I know
4. In my early teens I was pretty taken with Beverly Hills, 90210.  HUGE crush on Brandon Walsh, even though everyone said Dylan was the cute one.

Four Family Vacations I've been on:

1. Brazil
2. South Africa
3. Black Forest, Germany (mountain biking)
4. Grand Canyon, USA

Four of my favorite fast food dishes:

1. Sushi!  Does sushi count?  I think in NYC it counts as fast food...
2. Pad Thai
3. I used to love vegetarian Taco Bell Chalupas.  Disgusting, I know.
4. Starbucks - not really fast FOOD but it sure is fast and satisfying.

Four sites I visit daily (I listed only three):

1. Dooce
2. Google News
3. For Better Or For Worse daily strip

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. With Anuj
2. Traveling in Africa or India
3. At the Gym
4. Outside

Four bloggers I am tagging:

1. Saron
2. Janet (sorry, have you been tagged already?)
3. Ali G
4. Peyton

Lovely Lunch

Anuj is here for a visit, for job interviews, and for planning the next couple of months (moving, selling the apartment, job hunting, travel etc.) 

I'm at work, but he came to take me out to lunch after his interviews were over for the day.  It was fun to leave the office in the middle of the day just for a break.   

Anuj is a pretty animated guy when he talks - at least one hand is always gesturing in the air, making a point or dismissing one.  He also repeatedly uses his index finger to quickly push his glasses back up his nose... and then his hand is off again, drawing graphs in the air. 

I love this.  I drink it all in - everything about him, this little lunch moment.  It takes all my willpower to not interrupt his explanation by grabbing his hand and kissing it repeatedly...

Love Is A Burning Thing...

I saw the most incredible movie this weekend, though I am sure I am the last one to actually go see it.  I think it’s been out in the States for awhile now already.  Walk the Line – the story of Johnny Cash and June Carter; it’s taken up residence in my thoughts for the past 48 hours.  The movie was incredible; the music was emotional, Reese stunning as June, and Joaquin just drop dead sexy as Cash.  I would have paid ten euros just to see that man perform Johnny Cash songs for two hours straight.

I adored the scenes of Johnny and June on stage together.  I think – for obvious personal reasons- I’ve become obsessed with good romantic partnerships.  Seeing someone as macho as Cash share a stage with the woman he loves and just smiling and openly enjoying that makes my heart melt.  I can’t think of too many other examples of such relationships in the 60’s.  Maybe John Lennon and Yoko Ono – though that’s bringing up a pretty controversial one! 

I think Anuj and I are going to make a stellar pair like this too.  We’re not about to perform “Jackson” together at the Grand Ole Opry down in Tennessee, but we’ll do other amazing things together: experience new countries, make an interesting circle of friends, start a successful business, create a wonderful family… am I being too idealistic?  I don’t think so.  I am waxing a bit poetic here, but I think the Cash family can show you that in a successful relationship, one plus one equals much much more than two.